My Tablet Has Alzheimer's

I've noticed more and more recently that my tablet seems to forget what it's doing and will do something completely different. There are times when it forgets how to click, and others when it doesn't realize that the pen is hovering over it, not touching it, but it's still drawing.


It's very frustrating, but i find it hilarious at the same time.

There are also times when it will stop working altogether. It will force me to restart the entire computer before it will decide that yes, it wants to work properly............for the next five minutes. Unplugging it never works, its always restarting the computer that kicks it into working.


Then there are the times where the tablet drivers will stop working, to where if the pen is moved a tiny bit, the cursor will fling off the screen and end up in China.


Oh derpy tablet, i love you but it's getting old. I wish you would stop trolling me, derpy tablet.

Sink Cats and Dog Derps

So, not too long ago we found a cat. This giantly fluffy black cat that demand you to feed her every second of every day. No, seriously. She will meow at you and follow you until you pay attention to her, and then when you're finally loving her, she doesn't want anything to do with you.


Either way, she's a character. One morning we woke up early to find her in the sink.

If you notice, she is also laying on scissors. She wouldn't let us take those scissors. 

She also never bit me. No, in fact, she found a better punishment to be licking. Claws and teeth were never enough to get one to leave her alone. Raspy scrapey cat tongue was always the solution. Even in your ear, it was a solution. The ear canal actually seemed to be her favored target, just like Pascal from Tangled.

Lasers were a plus with her. She would go coo-coo for cocoa puffs if she saw that tiny red dot of a light flinging across the floor, and would launch herself half way to the ceiling if placed perfectly on the wall.

I am totally not watching Emperor's New Groove while typing this.

Cat nip was also a plus with the fluffy assassin. If you had the bag, she would try to rip your arm off to get to it, and would roll in it for hours if you rubbed a bit in the floor. Of course, with her dense black fur, those spots are quite obvious.

Unfortunately, Kitty Amazing has been given to a good home since her and other....grr cat don't get along very well. Also, cookies if you get the Kitty Amazing reference. Here, have a picture of evil cat

She doesn't look evil there. That's because she's wondering what the crap I'm holding up to her face. Also, from this angle, she looks uber skinny. This is not the case. She's actually quite the opposite. She'd just as soon rip your face off than let you pet her.


On to Derp Dog! I shall introduce you with this picture.

Cell phone cameras. They suck.


This is Oreo. Oreo likes to try to be cute so he wont be in trouble. In this pic, he wouldn't stay where I wanted him to. So he flopped over and tried to be cute.


...


It worked. How could I resist those puppy eyes? Simple. I didn't.


This dog is hilarious when he's hyper. When he gets to going, he will run back and forth, kitchen to living area chair and back. Sometimes he will jump too soon and body slam the bottom of the chair. Other times he will ricochet off the back of the chair. All the while he will excite the cat. He will saunter up to her and do that playful bow dogs do and when she smacks him in the face with her paw, he'll be off like a rocket. Sometimes he'll incite the attacks himself, prancing around her and shoving his butt in her face.

That's what happens. He then turns into a fluff-rocket powered on nothing other than cat boops that don't harm him because said cat is declawed. Eventually he will tire himself out and just flop over, but not before a ton of lols ensue. He'll be going so fast that he'll slide on the Kitchen's linoleum floor and inevitably veer into the wall or he will trip over various objects, even those that aren't in his planned path of trajectory.

Games

I remember when I was young, just like any other child, we played games. Games at recess such as Red Rover, Tag, Freeze Tag. It was all good fun.


Well, we invented some sort of new game.


There was one time on the field where we played a row of trash cans. We were young kids, so we thought it would be good fun to have a competition where we had to jump over the relatively large trash cans without touching them.


I was a ninja and leapt over them like a Gazelle running for its life from hungry lions. Ok, that was a little drastic, but true nonetheless.


But my friend, on the other hand, was not so lucky. He made it about halfway over before gravity drug him back towards the ground. Well, close to the ground. He hit the edge of the trash can and fell back into it, legs and arms flailing. Eventually, the flailing was enough to topple him over, and he laid there in a daze. Still in the trash can, of course.


Yes, I remember those times when we would play freeze tag and try to amoeba morph away from the person who was "it". We would contort our body into awkward angles and then if we were touched, we would have to stay like that until someone not "it" touched you. All I remember is that once I was stuck on one foot for about ten minutes before I fell over. Luckily, we were on grass.


I do remember once when we tried playing  Hide and Seek. You see, we had a random concrete wall that you could play WallBall off of. This hide and seek game consisted of running around that wall as much as possible so the Seeker couldn't catch you. That is, until the Seeker got smart enough and ran the opposite direction and eventually found all of us.


I will never forget the one time that our church played a game of Ultimate Uno. (if you don't know what Uno is, go here)


We used six decks of Uno cards (total of 648 cards) divvied up to about 40 to 50 people. While The Game continued on down at the other end of the 6 tables we had lined up, we would always play our own little game. Ok so it was only a game of 20 Questions, but it was still quite amusing. If we heard someone scream in frustration, we would always stop to look, only to see the game rapidly approaching our side of the tables once more. I can't remember who won this game, but there were many others after it. None of which I had the pride and joy of saying I won. In fact, there was once I wound up with nearly a full deck's worth of cards (108 cards, holy crap).


Ultimate Uno, for the win.


Have any of you guys played any games in an interesting way?

First post of 2011

Well, since nobody ever reads this, I guess I'll go wild. Or something like that. I don't know, I am incapable of forming coherent thoughts currently, as I am tired like you wouldn't believe.


Happy New Year everyone! Even if it is a few weeks late.


Have you noticed how things are becoming more and more childproof?


Especially food wrappers?


I have an extremely hard time with candy cane wrappers in particular. Friggin' shrink-wrapped bastards.


And also chip bags. It doesn't matter what kind of chip bag it is, potato chips or corn chips, there will always be one that gives you a struggle. Its like they purposefully super-glued it shut, and then put a tiny tiny camera somewhere on the bag so they can laugh at your pitiful attempts at opening it. I hate you, super-gluer of chip bags!


Also, bottles. I don't have as much trouble with bottles as I do with bags, but its still pathetic some times. I have a friend who always manages to get the bottles that don't want to open. It's like they're saying "NO. I don't want you to drink out of my head!" Like how the Kool-Aid guy comes busting through people's walls only to let them drink out of his head. Its not right.


We can be sitting there for hours, thinking up creative ways to open this one blasted bottle. And then there's always The One. The One who thinks it would be a great idea to smack the lid against something to "loosen it up". Oh, it'll loosen it up alright. It will loosen it up enough to where the pressure of whatever's inside to become too unbearable for the plastic to contain and BOOM. Congrats, The One. You just spewed soda all over everyone, and onto the floor. Oh, don't bother wiping it up with a napkin, it'll get sticky either way. Unless, of course, you mop it up. But what happens if there is no mop in sight? Screwed.


Coming to a close, I hate food packaging. Ok, so hate is a strong word. I really really really dislike food packaging.


Goodnight, I think its time I start not going to bed so late.